babies (post I found in my drafts from like 2010)q

so like, almost all of my high school friends have one, two, maybe three of these cute little things called babies.
i blame facebook for letting me peer into their lives. unknowingly! geez.
i dont think ill ever get to having one. i imagine you have to be majorly prepared, major life planning and organization, have a nice house and probably a nice husband or a large family group type setting to have one. ideally. no checks there.
oh yeah the most important part: you want to have one.

i do want to have a nice house though. wonder when that will happen.
looks like ill be moving again when this lease expires. i mean, its great and cheap and all that but its majorly cheap. looking. and old. yuck. and carpeted. gross.
yeah so i wanna move. hope to make it for the better! all last year it was one shit hole to the next, just cos it was available and convenient. in the long run though, its really inconvenient.

anyway. i want my chain order already. my fingers have been persistently black thanks to finishing the oxidized lockets. going to varnish them tonight... a friend of mine from grade school messaged me and we talked about the market over in manila for stuff like mine, and it seems promising. so if i ever decide to move back at least i know i can still do this. coz really what could i do, what is my skill. if i moved to toronto for the summer would i have to move the studio with me (omg) (this is an impossible dream w/o savings or w/o moving there for a year or two cos really losing over a month of working kills me for 2 years or something)

so, i think i am depressing you. im getting my period on sunday. might be the cause of said depressive thoughts.
another thing ive been thinking bout is my hair. omg am i going bald? i have majorly thin hair. since ive been growing it i swear its getting thinner.
might have to revert to short hair days. which i really liked. 20 pounds heavier though, we will see. my chin isnt as pointy (more round) and my high cheekbones look like big fat squishy cheeks now. i exaggerate. a little.

heres me with short hair like a gazillion years ago. maybe 10. and maybe 30 pounds 22 lbs lighter. (gaddam im fat) (hehe)