Baby gang

 I saw a picture in this video for a solar Orbiter and I realized I had the wrong idea about the solar system so when you when I say wrong idea I meant that I thought each planet had its own water separate and distinct from the other planet, if it even had any water, but I saw the picture and I realize the planets are our continents and the orbit belt since it's pretty much flat its the horizon line on water. Ok so now that that makes a little more sense pluto would be greenland and like earth would be north america etc the denser part with fish swimming and then sand would be the shell of the sun or burned stuff and molten lava that makes a weird shape black earth baluesonne but hot molten yellow like shining gold sun flares. So its opposite of what i thought. The planets are the orbit, the continents are earth, the sand is molten lava and we spin because of the moon which is our magnetic pole then we have our star named son of god because its an animist culture we use the position of the bright heat to determine our crops and our position in the time line. Wow totally different than what i thought in grade 1. Lol i forgot to think about it again. So now we have this secind time around we can imagine what the internet would be like where our combined knowledge is communal so we have the transit and the fiber optic cable to our other parts connecting us with each others understanding. Isnt that great? 

Yay its so much better than the first one.

Saskatchewan stab victim lies on the side of the road and gets robbed

All this and more post BLM covid Canada. It's in the star paper today April 28th woman gets almost 7 years for fatal stabbing where this girl from the mall high out of her mind stab some single mother who lays bleeding in the side of the road for over an hour during which she gets robbed of her wallet and headphones before anybody actually calls the police or ambulance to help her here we have a prime example of how callus and terribly illexperienced are pedestrian traffic on the streets of Canada are today Saskatchewan no less you'd think inner Canada remains friendly and ready to help their neighbor but here we have an article expressing regret because the woman died she bled out for too long and it took too long for someone to notice that she was dying before they called anybody for help she got robbed she couldn't even call the hospital herself to get an ambulance to her and everybody who passed by just left her there bleeding this is why I am humiliated to be Canadian today look at how disgusting people act now we have Americans coming up here pretending to be Canadian and the police want to help them more just like the Latino woman who isn't even Canadian and managed to get me into camh for over a month because of her delusional ideas on what a safe house is maybe somebody failed to tell her a safe house is safe for criminals not for want to be nannies who bring their babies into rat infested homes because that's what she did disgusting I'm so humiliated to be Canadian today this is why I thank God for my mother still in the Philippines able to send me extra money this month because sure as s*** I am getting my Philippines citizenship back the country is improved a lot and I'm sick of being s*** on in Canada.

I found my abuser Chris black

Exactly as I expected the freaking poser a loser ex junkie retrained by federal government actors from Ohio claiming to be from LA this ass wipe bullied terrorized and assaulted me with his other black friend who had both stalked me and moved into the house I lived in maliciously locking me out while stealing my personal identity documents family heirlooms collected memorabilia most of my furniture and other important aspects of my life that I cannot get back because of the Toronto police's intolerance and flat out stigma of an intelligent woman who looks Asian native or Filipino I find this crime in constable and humiliating defeat for my 20-year life in Canada I left the Philippines Manila to be exact to run away screaming from human rights violations and decaying people on the street I didn't live the past 20 years in Canada strengthening the nation only to get robbed by two n****** from the states I say these terms with full confidence well understanding that these terms are racialized and strong I don't give a s*** they used black lives matter slogan for their personal racketeering likely for some drug pusher promising them gang status oh I know too well about that I've heard about it for 3 years straight they swarm us Rob us steal our credit cards our cell phones are computers they still are ID documents SIM cards any type of paperwork they can get their hands on kick us out of our own houses and then live as us the police help them every single time because they are deluded into thinking that there is actually some kind of Hollywood Blockbuster feature film being filmed and that person is going to be included in the film this is how racketeers and identity thieves petticon artists and fraudsters work with numerous gangs throughout the city just because the police helped the gangs instead of me every single time and just because I'm too stupid to keep voting the police doesn't mean the police are not doing their job it just means the only police that was doing his job is too busy to get my message and call me back to help me because I know there is a couple of police that listen intently to everything I say and work hard to expose and criminalize these free elements vagabonding throughout the city this Chris black that I found through his details he spoken to me appears to be some kind of junkie for crack cocaine doing crime skirting laws abusing women for another sniff of his precious drug disgusting he destroyed an innocent woman's life because some drug dealer promised him some drugs and the police helped him? Why is this? I will tell you why. Because I am a hysterical woman livid at the face of Justice being denied to me. Straight up just because a woman is angry does not mean she is wrong.

parasites in my intestines

You know that old nursery rhyme, well maybe pass nursery,kindergarten, that goes: nobody likes me everybody hates me I'm going to eat some worms short fat stubby ones itsy bitsy teeny ones swiggly Wiggly funny little worms, well turns out nobody liked me and I did eat some worms, so I'm going to get dewormed today! At least I think it's worms. I read up about it and I totally grossed myself out because I looked at pictures. Did you know that you're supposed to get dewormed once a year? I didn't and I failed to get all my vaccinations up to date. I used to go to this walk-in family clinic on college but after I got really sick and my doctor said nothing despite me going multiple times in a mild panic with a vague questioning regarding my health, I don't want to go back there. I always felt that that doctor thought I had a crush on him or was coming on to him. It was kind of gross because I really needed help from a doctor but I didn't know he was just a doctor for show signing on to the ohip form of whatever I was trying to do at the doctor so we could collect his 200 and go directly past jail but actually he should have gone directly to jail. Just kidding. At the very least he didn't have to get a specialized license plate. Because I saw a car with his last name as a license plate and I wanted to scratch his car with my keys. What a douchebag assuming that I was there for show. Here's a tip for the future Nicole, next time you think a center is run by a bunch of Muslim men, don't use their doctor. I must have wasted about 5 years going to that doctor and not getting a single diagnosis or test requested regarding my multiple symptoms of malady. Because the excuse of having bad hygiene was too convenient for everyone without understanding what lifelong trauma exacerbated by current reoccurring traumatic events manipulated by a third party, or heck even face to face, will do to a woman like me who wanted to do something else. So yeah I'm super traumatized because I was forced to eat dirt off oily plates because those black guys were the filthiest m************ mother Ducker s for not only were they actually physically filthy, using my plates after asking them not to, leaving oily traces all over them, leaving disgusting scum and they're disgusting pubic hairs all over the bathroom after every time I would wash it wipe it clean it, they were also mentally toxic, emotionally terrifying, obviously manipulative, and quite frankly they were scary men, maladjusted, emotionally charged, consistent in strawman arguments, and rather unpredictable with out knowing who they were they just seemed unstable and potentially physically violent, which they proved. The level of disgust and filth that I felt and still feel I need to wash off me as they pawed me the entire time, is unbearably high. Considering I never met these men, nor would I ever want to, the amount of damage, emotional, mental, physical damage that they did, plus all the theft, and destruction of my personal belongings, I really want to see them hurt badly in return. I don't want to spend too much energy thinking about it because I spent all of my energy recovering from their psychological attacks. I would never recommend living with them I wouldn't even recommend speaking with them because in doing so you will taint your soul, and your spirit will get soiled, and not a good kind of soil but the gross soil that you scrape off a Spadina Kensington market fish stall corner. The level of fake these men employ only speaks of how little they actually know. They had nothing to tell me except for their perverted eyes pleading murder. I didn't want to be in their presence whatsoever and the whole time I could hear and feel them continuously approach my bedroom and hover at my door. They had a disgusting air about them, a haughty arrogance that reeked of slander. I never met men who were so uneducated and Ill experienced to make me fear my life until I met the two black guys and the redhead who moved in a few months before they maliciously locked me out.
Anyway I'm getting dewormed today and I suggest you do the same. I believe it's just a series of tablets.

my life is being destroyed. that means anyone like me is being systematically murdered.

I'm just kind of bogged down with all the problems surrounding functioning due to trauma. I'm not sure how to proceed. I have a lot of organizing to do in storage and I know I'll find a lot of wet books that I didn't save when I was moving with the truck driver and Patrice. I hope I find my photographs the atlas my piggy bank crystal vase all my rulers and my 101 unrealized inventions notebook there are many other things missing and it breaks my heart to see that they stole my grandmother's pins directly from my jewelry box. I thought there was some black f*** pretending he was my relative who thought Mama Ning and Mama Nena were lola Leony and that's why they stole the pins but there I am giving credit too much credit to some f*** who violated me. I didn't get much from my grandmother's and what little I did get I lost foolishly as a child or now as an adult mercilessly ripped away from me. I have one photograph of Lola and it's from a family vacation we're all sitting there and I'm standing behind her. Of course she was the person I was to stand beside because she was the eldest and I wanted to be in the photo with my grandmother. It's the only picture I have of me and my grandmother. I'm not sure I have a photo of me and Mama Nana or me and Mama Ning. Those pins were the only things I had of them so I find it very calculated that those were the two pins stolen from the jewelry box. Another thing I noticed is that all of the pins and pendants and rings that pork chop David paid me with or gave to me as payment or all stolen as well. Then to note my laptop the fourth one, the one I bought after Daryl stole my HP touch screen, was broken in the cord the charger cord was also cut. Those black men were violent manipulative glib pompous and sickening. Combined with that Chinese Kun, the Latina Doris and the later basement dwellers they had themselves the most deplorable despicable and unworthy gang. I might never get an explanation in one paragraph from someone in a position of authority nor will I get an apology from my aggressors but I know only too well that they were dead wrong. Not only did it appear that they were given the wrong information about me but it also was apparent but they lack common sense have no morals and are easily swayed by someone who seems authoritative. It would be too easy to make them swallow anything else. If they destroyed an innocent womans life through small acts of manipulated psychological attacks against her human right to dignity and equality, then took months of slowly gathering the nerve to enter her room while she slept, then to lock me out while i was picking up my books (a small library really) that they threw across the front sidewalk with marbles and never let her in again, spewing black lives matter and that hate had no home in the house i was living in, wouldnt it make sense that these men are neo nazis, the alt right, an extremist group pandering, racketeering, and propagandizing, that dumber less worthy people have every right to destroy something of value in order to replace it with themselves? According to these two black men Black Live Matter more than mine. And I cannot agree whatsoever. The amount of humiliating lines these idiots spewed to me was astounding. Who in the world did they think i was, and why would they do that to a small woman who lived in the house you moved into? I cannot be bothered by their " woops wrong person" because i believe they thought they were "playing the role of my family members who were chased out as landlords and tenants by so called white people" i also believe that these men are mildly retarded and / or running from the law record elsewhere and are using false identities. The problem with these idiot black men is that they failed to understand my comprehension regarding these nebulous shadows that are easily misinterpreted by nature of context. For example when the Bautistas moved out of Marikina to the new house in Marikina it looked exactly the same to me even though it wasnt. But it does look like the park house i camped at the back of on davenport, and beside it is even a small games and toy shop, just like the one Jerome put up in Marikina. Very confusing considering that area of little portugal says its San Juan Bautista. So when I saw the gates to the old Santa Mesa orphanage as the gates to trinity bellwoods by gore vale, I was in for a spin. 
But spun I was not. The two black men in the house insisting they were right, that red haired adam as well, terrorizing me, talking down to me hiding the painting, destroying my antique fine red glass glasses, everything they did, i already knew because it had already happened to a much lesser degree and naturally, but they way these men were doing it, it was obvious that someone put them up to it. I understand it as some whips forcing me to write another landlord tenant board claim after the one at 626 manning failed because of that morning at sistering day of the hearing one of the staff kicked me out with my huge bag of laundry and white decorative ladder. Instead of using the crisis room with the support staff, i got kicked out morning of my hearing, ..... I cannot comprehend the violence. When i write down these acts in chronological order its impossible for me to understand the level of stupidity and idiocy at play here, and theyre all above me, since im so unqualified and lack experience, these people all above me have systematically murdered me, by choice. I fit the criteria for their drop in, i even lived on the same street, but what sistering did is much like what everyone else did to me through out these years since i was evicted at 626 manning because they were renovating but no relatives moved in. 
I cant write anymore. Im tired of explaining the literal occurances. its unbelievably STUPID foolish VIOLENT. its incredibly depressing and sad that this is canada now. This never happened to me before. I was never only disrespected, i was never stigmatized by so many people all at the same time. Im not smelly or sick anymore, im not rude or obnoxious (mostly) i use manners and have respect for others, but to watch people as they judge me upon initial meeting, the first 5 seconds after i speak, watching peoples faces make a quick assesment and glance at my clothing, is embarassing. First of all almost all of these people are immigrants freshly landed and on their first jobs, secondly they are mostly younger than me but likely cant tell, and third they all take advantage of my manners and cannot even tell im being polite and using a well beaten path of etiquette. These factors to me indicate it is wholly unsafe for me to go outside and relate. If i go outside i should wear sunglasses and a mask to hide my beautiful confidence because the new people who have taken over are of the black lives mattering crowd of illiterate idiots who believe their lives are the first lives on earth. It feels like to the new crowd after covid, anyone with a dilletant look and an air of confidence and ease at being served must be destroyed by any means. The amount of disrespect and disgust i have had to endure just ordering a coffee or asking whee the washroom is has literally made me frantically race to regain my philippine nationality and to be honest i did consider possibly moving to another country again. The human rights that were shown to me by canadians while i grew in canada made me love the country and canadians. Then forced homelessness and that sickening too loud and too long laughter by steve who evicted me disgracefully right before covid, then covid.... It was a cover up to kill canada as we all knew it. What emerged? What happened to me. Thats what happened to canada as i know it. If im canadian, and this is what was done to me, forget about it. Just another bad move on my part. When i was a child i didnt know i would be so troubled and wrecked. As an adult i moved to canada and built up my life and how my brain processed other peoples actions. All was well and good. I enjoyed my life and everyone in it but i was still sick and got too sick for anyone to comprehend dignity. If all i needed was one person to tell me my symptoms which were glaring to everyone else, i wouldve gone to the hospital or seen a specialist. But no one told me a thing, everyone talked about me behind my back, everyone made fun of me and spread rumors about me, my entire life was then beyond my control again, and I was back to being a small child hiding because i didnt want to get beaten again without understanding what i did wrong. So when these two black men raised the ante of the fake tenants, and started disrespecting me in a manner i thought was overboard and could likely end in my murder, i well understood that someone was talking behind my back making fun of me, spreading lies about me. It sickens me to this day, the amount of fake and hate i have to face. It makes me sick knowing i wont ever get better now. I was almost better. But i had a bad ending of whatever that was with simon, then i met alvaro and i never got better. Alvaro brought back the physical violence memories and trauma and i have never been able to get enough rest with good people around me ever again. I wont recover anymore ive been violated by some gross pervert who is nom stop harassing me via third fouth or second party. They read all about me and hunt for me everyday. Its unsafe for people to use the internet. Its unsafe to share your knowledge. Its unsafe for women everywhere, and its unsafe to rent from anyone private. Very unsafe. Its unsafe to live with black men, chinese landlords, and latina women, its unsafe to live with nerdy awkward men. Its unsafe to write anything online for public consumption, its unsafe to speak to pwople you do not know. Its totally unsafe for civilization to allow valueable people to fall into the wayside, but weve seen them all slowly get murdered these past few years. The third culture kids, generation x, androgynous women and men, artists, musicians, were all almost totally gone. Slowly replaced by black lives who think they matter more, slowly taken down to hell by foreign judgements on a culture they moved in to. Its sickening me and i didnt want it to happen but it did and no one apologized and no one cares anymore.

my grandmothers pins were stolen by black people

Mama nenas letter n pin and mama nings pin we made for her birthday with a picture of her portrait were stolen by those disgusting men who took over the house and assumed i was the person who was going to be demolished so they could take my place. And did they demolish. They threw my books all over the sidewalk with marbles and when i went out to get them they locked me out of the house with my keys and everything inside. Then they started to pick through my room and they chose what they wanted all my gold jewlery my grandmothers pins and all my photographs from the 90' to 2006 or so. I cant find my world atlas and i didnt see all of my art books the muchas and the ones i had in my room the book im in the book chuck wrote and all my favorite books. My furniture they stole my large mirror black bench two stainless steel organizers and a wooden cube shelf my wire basket and my light table bed tray. My large hamper and two chairs one with wheels and made of bent plywood and metal and the other a metal directors chair. Those black men christopher and gerald and adam and kun and the basement dwellers and doris aka dora and her bf in 337 dovercourt rd toronto on m6j3e4, robbed me and physically assaulted me and treated me badly for a reason and that is because they are stupid men violent men who believe anything someone tells them about a woman and they go after that woman as evident here. The police even helped them succeed on numerous occations. They destroyed my room completely then they went after me in the shelter. I tested it with tweets and sure enough im positive christopher was commanding a group of black staff in the shelter to harm us participants. And that is why black lives matter is dangerous to civilization as a whole. They harassed me for a year and disrespected and violated me for no fucking reason and they STOLE MY GRANDMOTHERS PINS BECAUSE THEY ARE DISGUSTING BLACK PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THEY MATTER MORE THAN ME AND MY FAMILY AND THEY WANTED TO MURDER ANYTHING I HAD WITH STRONG WHITE WOMEN, NAMELY MY GRANDMOTHERS ON MY MOTHERS SIDE. THEYRE DISGUSTING MEN AND THEY SHOULD BE PUT DOWN LIKE RABID DOGS.



just kidding. Think what you want. 
I thought it might be (too much) development or marketing of another organizational diffusive
Stop making us come up with new strings for a computer. Enough is enough. People have to eat! And you know I can't eat my words. You'll make me throw up! #ptsd


A silly rhyme in time 
 becomes commited to mind
A bind you may find difficult to mine
To define the fix nix the line that   decimates the clock
Loosen the knot call kettle pot
Brown is black in new T - dot

pecked to death by an ugly.

I think there's a keylogger on my phone. I'm tired again. Someone's drawing energy out of me and laughing at me all too pleased they have accomplished their lame job of murdering vibrant women slowly by draining them of their self created energy until their source is so drained and they are so tired and weary someone murders them or they die pecked to death by an ugly.

fuck it I'm just gonna get high today instead

Turned my twitter back on and I need to relog into MySpace and turn on my photos again. Cos some black people stole the Cristobals and are now are bashing white people here genociding generation x and third culture kids and definately decimating the Filipino population in Canada.

check out this piece of shit meta has done to my life the last twenty years online

Looks like I lost everything all my life contents and everything I ever made and thought of writing down in my computer's and phones. Everything including the people. Specially the people and all the fake walk ups and fake boyfriends or whatever they are. People? Or something. 
Lost my Instagram account aromatherapy Toronto lost my Facebook account again Nicole tirona cos I can't fix it like how it was before with my family etc lost my go karma Facebook aroma flora where all my old Vancouver friends and Toronto friends are cos I originally lost my Nicole tirona Facebook and let the hacker have it for years and they likely copied everything and cloned my account with fake people. Then my messenger accounts are weird with all the phone theft when everyone wanted me dead and homeless. Still do apparently. I can't log into my banks again and they're starting up their hacking again phishing doxxing sending abusive men to hold me hostage in dangerous living conditions while forcing me to pay for it ala Steve in Manning ave and diogo on college with the police and now here Dovercourt with the Latin woman upstairs the police are helping bully me.i don't know who she is I think she's some cocaine princess some local gang member placed here, but also stolen my old career identity? These people live here and I don't have any help they are robbing me daily. 
So now I can't even log into Etsy. I got the app and my email pak_pak@yahoo they are marking as WANTON WITCH WOMAN MUST MURDER SEND MURDERERS. 
this one is the PayPal threat every month years go by still phishing my hacked accountthis is my Etsy now I can't log in see first image

home based business

Works if you have a home. Shit outta luck! Sorry sweets, the banks closed.

cancel culture

Learn how to cancel as an option to follow in their faq.
Fuck that how bout learn how to advertise so that the customer pays up front. None of this auto renewing subscription. Wouldn't that be cush. Fucking asses. How bout the week after they run out you go ask them if they want more instead of making them pay for something they didn't personally select or realize was being charged to their account. How bout learn how to read the fine print and even if you think it's fine, definitely cancel anyway. Automatic cancel. Just ask and wait for the damn reply. No reply is no. Super basic. Did the generations after mine not learn this through experience so they're forcing everyone to relearn societal etiquette and PAY FOR IT TOO ?  God I fucking hate millenials or whatever they are fucking called.


Hey I've posted a bunch on,smhimh
Also link beside blog says donut

the queen elizabeth

Quick fanfic using PicsArt
Should I buy membership 
I lost Photoshop when my MacBook got stolen from storage
PicsArt is super fun also you can make your own stickers and brushes
It costs money though so I have to be serious in making labels etc
For my perfumes
Should I make one of the Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip I love their old pics ❤️

I lost weed

I haven't smoked weed in so long. I keep buying it but it doesn't work anymore the same the strains are all different and buying from delivery is why my identity got stolen cos the deliverypeople didn't keep my picture with I'd secure they reuse my I'd with a different picture etc then the risk of the weed being not good became more the norm as time passed. Now I just grab from the store and usually it's kind of expensive usually dry and usually doesn't give me a body high or its the wrong kind of weed and just doesn't do the trick. It's been like this for so many years now since legalization I've given up smoking up and I barely smoke weed anymore it's just not worth it. Then all my containers for stolen so I don't have a visual record anymore. I'm just super disappointed in it all. I ve been buying weed for almost 30 years! And I still don't for a dealer I trust and I still can't find the weed I like there isn't a dispensary I can go to that gives me a good recommendation, maybe ipot, but I'm over it all I smoke now is shwag and it reminds me of being back in the Philippines circa 1998 I believe the weed was the same high but it would cost about 20 dollars for about 3 ounces. So now when I'm paying $68 of my disability budget for 10.5 grams it's beyond insulting it's disappointing. All those years of cheering weed on and promoting it's legalization for access to quality medication is just that. I have to get a medical prescription and seek out the individual farmer or grower or company and its not gotten any easier in my lifetime, it's not gotten easier at all. Maybe some years some times I had a good link but mostly it's always been excruciating for me as a girl to score drugs. I mean come on I can't even get the right kind of bud and no recommendations I can trust. It's simply not worth it anymore.

gnarly marlee

The girl Darryl introduced me to the looks like me and she stole my Visa card hat day with Darryl. Puke fest. They look like incest pornos. I think she is using my room when I'm not here. As a prostitute. I think she likely sucks patrice off in my room for drugs or something. That or her and Darryl did another incest porno in my room when I wasn't here. I literally white washed the floor again two days ago and have only been looking at the floor in a soothed calm except for when I got back today from a walk and the floor is all smudged and filthy again and it wasn't me. It just disgusts me thinking like this, and knowing why I think like this is because the only people I met in the past 4 or 5 years have been nothing but scoundrels, THEIVES, low lives, the works. Just total societal rejects. I haven't met a single actual human person in so many years I don't know if they still exist and if they do what do they do and talk about these days. The people I met and who know me from theft of my data and information, they are like super scary vampiric obsessive life destroyers. Once they have a target they don't stop terrorizing harassing robbing violating manipulating victimizing gas lighting gang stalking ganging up on and hating their victim until probably the victim dies of their hands or suicide. I have been followed maliciously for so many years now I don't know anything else. There's a group of men trying to turn me into a prostitute, there's another group of men who were trying that before then the turn a whore into a housewife then now it's something about stealing your wife as my girlfriend or some game a bunch of abusive ex's are playing with each other. I also feel like there's a group of Filipinos investigating all this and then the democratic parties from different countries, and then the gangs, all of these people want to see me die or something like no one is interested in me as a person or the things I'm interested in. According to how it feels like, for the criminal element grooming me I'm only here to provide my cleaned and organized room for lower end prostitutes who have been robbing my identity and life contents, so that my stolen identity gang can continue to rob me of the life and family I lived and remember. I'm ready to give up writing and just turn into the fucking junkie prostitute everyone alludes I'm supposedly being??? I don't even know how to conform to these irrational delusional ideas a reluctant gay  male gaze expects of me. I only recently remembered I'm considered androgynous which is the same as transgender. Like oh whoops I totally forgot that part. Let's also forget that I was looking at the floor I just painted so I know the difference from freshly painted to smudged filthy and disrespected and raped because NICOLE IS SO SMALL AND EASY TO HURT APPARENTLY

Kate and Williams youtube

Where is it? And not the Katie and William from Parkdale, although I'm sure she's nice too, but the royal family Kate and William YouTube. What's its name? 
I found the royal fam YouTube and they have this I really want to buy:
the Queen's corgi dogs on a beach towel!!! Perfect for topless sunbathing at hanlans point! Who let the dogs out woof woof! Just kidding. I feel weird if I don't go topless at the nude beach. It's the worst etiquette to have coming into a nude beach fully dressed and not sun bathe. Just the worst
 Least I can do is ... Need this corgi beach towel!!!

look at this dorky baby Grimes made

It's so cute 
And she made another one via surrogate baby mom. Isn't that cool. I bet no one's gonna care for the surrogate baby. Just kidding. Maybe. Not kidding. Don't care? Look at the dorky baby Grimes made. 
I still remember hearing that first song I ever heard of hers the video in that Montreal football stadium, I think I heard the song from someone before I heard it on YouTube or the radio, but I can't remember. I haven't heard it in ages. Never would have thought this Quebecois dream pixie would end up making babies with the tesla SpaceX guy. Says right in this article Elon Musk is founding a new town where his space x stuff is happening, incorporating into South Texas and everything. Damn.
Something about a bill gates quote on Elon Musk and I thought about their names and perfuming the search for that Elon gated Musk must go on perhaps within the Grimes shall the molecule be found! 

gonna have to turn everything off

There are too many strangers calling me whores and too many men thinking they know me and there are too many junkies and addicts robbing me I have to turn everything off I'm getting stalked and walked up to groped and the police are not helping me whatsoever. They didn't even charge Darryl with more theft amounting to over 5,000$ and a video of him out on his house arrest stealing my bad on the laundromat camera. The cops did not a damn thing except kiss Darryl and beat me up again. So I'm going to get murdered likely. Too many people talking shit about me for toooooo long. No one helping me no one supporting me no one standing up for me. I am getting raped and robbed beaten up and molested groped and called a whore treated badly by every single person. I am none of those things I am a good decent woman u never deserved to be called a whore by multiple men I said no to and then have my pervert brother and other gross family keep stalking me and prostituting me it's just fucking disgusting with all the perverts Owen Darryl Billy porkchop all of the homeless people then the stalker black mentally ill men who are attacking me it's non stop disgusting and all the online accounts useless pervert helpers. No one is helping me I'm going to get murdered.

babies (post I found in my drafts from like 2010)q

so like, almost all of my high school friends have one, two, maybe three of these cute little things called babies.
i blame facebook for letting me peer into their lives. unknowingly! geez.
i dont think ill ever get to having one. i imagine you have to be majorly prepared, major life planning and organization, have a nice house and probably a nice husband or a large family group type setting to have one. ideally. no checks there.
oh yeah the most important part: you want to have one.

i do want to have a nice house though. wonder when that will happen.
looks like ill be moving again when this lease expires. i mean, its great and cheap and all that but its majorly cheap. looking. and old. yuck. and carpeted. gross.
yeah so i wanna move. hope to make it for the better! all last year it was one shit hole to the next, just cos it was available and convenient. in the long run though, its really inconvenient.

anyway. i want my chain order already. my fingers have been persistently black thanks to finishing the oxidized lockets. going to varnish them tonight... a friend of mine from grade school messaged me and we talked about the market over in manila for stuff like mine, and it seems promising. so if i ever decide to move back at least i know i can still do this. coz really what could i do, what is my skill. if i moved to toronto for the summer would i have to move the studio with me (omg) (this is an impossible dream w/o savings or w/o moving there for a year or two cos really losing over a month of working kills me for 2 years or something)

so, i think i am depressing you. im getting my period on sunday. might be the cause of said depressive thoughts.
another thing ive been thinking bout is my hair. omg am i going bald? i have majorly thin hair. since ive been growing it i swear its getting thinner.
might have to revert to short hair days. which i really liked. 20 pounds heavier though, we will see. my chin isnt as pointy (more round) and my high cheekbones look like big fat squishy cheeks now. i exaggerate. a little.

heres me with short hair like a gazillion years ago. maybe 10. and maybe 30 pounds 22 lbs lighter. (gaddam im fat) (hehe)


 i dont know why i still have my numbers. no one ever gets in touch. the only people to contact me are the men who are terrorizing me. thats it. no one else.


Pics of the blocks so far!

I'm using the pattern I bought on Etsy

 "B. Annie Quilt"


I'm editing now(edit)

Thing is I think most of the original pics are on my flip phone. But I got this phone for taking pics right but this phone's camera kind of sucks it's only good for super close up you can have the lens like 4 centimeters away . I got it for jewelry supplies and what not but now that I got it it's literally useless for anything else. Except maybe wear and tear. It's supposed to be impervious to damage! (Smashes phone on ground, picks it up np) yeah dumb huh. It was 140 dollars. With a warning not to take the battery out. The iPhone Billy (bully) gave me got damaged and then I guess hacked and then I couldn't update it and then someone stole it. From my room. So I have to be strict no more porkchop bugging me exhausted from being in his dregs squalor palace. I don't know what to do cos they're raised differently. It's fucks with me because I think he is normal as he acts normal, or pretends to be cohesive but he just looks that way. Anyway I think I want another iPhone. I'll try to register next month and sell this one. But I like its strength 💪 feature

Ok this part is the first post:

 no shouting shhhh 

i finished my first quilt block and its super cute and im working on the second one but i stalled all day on the bobbin rethreading so i didnt quilt today. 

since all i have is a flip phone the pics are really bad. my digital camera is broken so theres really no alternative. when i finish the second blcok ill edit this post to make it my first quilt post.



unorganized land for sale in ontario

algona ontario has some unorganized land up for sale  in case anyone wants to buy me any anywhere not just algoma i dont evevn know where that is.

and not this place cos it looks like it needs a lot of work list of subdivisions in ontario

Britney finally does it!





 i keep being prodded it feels uncomfortable i think people go in my room every. single. time. i go out for a whole year every single time all of these people been robbing me and gaslighting me it feels like. the amount of abuse the chipmunks give me too is non stop its making me feel depressed i need some help in the form of truth and clarity and communication and word from people i know. until then, its all a bunch of people i dont know abusing me or whatare they doing. violating and victimizing my human rights and privacy records from medical and social work networks. just not baked enough .im smoking cookies and cream and dude wheres my bike and have to rethread the bobbin for my second quilt block (its super cute!!!)

MY TWITTER ACCOUNT IS 100% TRUE TWITTER.COM/SMHIMH is my account. it used to be the itsyourlifeshop account since i lost all the other ones because of harassment by people who thought i had something to do with their miserable misfortunes.  

all the accounts on my twitter are live! some are not but most of the ones where i amusing it as a vent for my anxiety and trauma, all true live and accurate i lost so much and i post it there more frequently than here i need to compile the items and make sure not much more of my content is stolen by miserable black people

its shake my head in my head

yes i made it allup, the persona is mine the account is mine i am creative, ask me, stop believing the people paying you to follow me and stalk me and harass me and steal from me 


more missing items

 one slipper i use for showering

my brass heart miniture spoon its vintage i bought it on ebay

my month worth of pseudoehedrine

every single marijuana baggie and recyclable container i have been collecting since about 2013 or so to document all the marijuana strains i smoked. all gone.

i have been finding stuff missing every single day since i moved here to dovercourt in kun wangs house. i found him in a mcleans article regarding his big circle gang about synthetic drugs from china.

i dont know who these bullies he hires to live here are. i dont know what to do anymore. all the fake guy friends threaten me all the time specially billy and porkchop. i am being threatened by tall unfriendly arrogant black men inside the house, the kitchen, the bathroom. there is a latino seeming couple upstairs who also threatens me, the guy always threatens me when i am inside my room and he iswith his woman who stole the living room and extra washroom upstairs. 

please send help did you see my twitter i think this is bangsimoro lanao del norte and they terrorists were using fake identities and something to do with film production to trick people into bullying me non stop

anti drug philippines and its meth crisis

 i think they should legalize cannabis to combat methamphetamine hydrochloride use in the masses. do it up like thailand where local growers passing standardization tests can sell their plants to the government facilitate laboratory experimentation with all aspects of cannabis in context to modern times and actual useage rate due to large hemp production in the country

to note this order is from 2001 and the next year i moved to canada and in 2003 its reported that meth arrived in vancouver 

now we have a opioid crisis because street dealers often sell meth and fentanyl same time as well as meth being dilutant and fentanyls high concentration makes the smallest contamination of fentanyl in meth turn meth into low dose fentanyl also we have huge amount of new cannabinoids diluted in meth and these are legal as not classified as illegal substances great time to experiment making research chemicals for smaller cannabis niche careers but also tricky as these research chemicals can me sold as crystal meth and the buyers are none the wiser and may be smoking cocaine or worse yet bath salts pcp china white and other extremely strong phychadelic hallucinogens imagine an entire population of meth addicts all got dosed on pcp same weekend? string of bizarre robberies. were all dead. any point is i should go to bed now got some maps to consider.

ps very scary drugs out there this ban is essential in a place like the philippines where huge portions of the population could be dosed and experimented on unbeknownst to the victims or the general population due to lack of identification of altered mind states from lack of experience. for example when i was kept homeless i was sure i was dosed with a plethora of substances one of them i think made me slow moving for a week straight like i wouldnt move for all day and i also noticed a lot of people were stuck or slow moving. i used to shout at them yo slow mover, get the fuck out of here, cos idontknow why but they scared me. another was fentanyl for sure and there was a few times on pcp for sure and i think one time on lsd. lucky me i got some experience but holy shit man unknown and unaware its not cool. problem is lack of education, access, too many people, they arent ready for harm reduction, what they need is cannabis legalization. 

also i heard afghanistan is making ephedrine as their main farmed cash crop now that opium is out of fashion due to fentanyls extreme concentrations killing everyone and out selling the natural sap


 AND I QUOTE: "Oral psilocybin is showing itself to be clinically efficacious by producing statistically significant reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms over time versus control in multiple clinical trials. It has also been shown to reduce cigarettes per day and drinks per day in patients with substance use disorders. Thus far, there have been no significant adverse clinical events from psilocybin and there also have been no verifiable recorded deaths reported. Larger studies need to be performed before the drug can potentially become approved for use in the general population."

Hodge AT, Sukpraprut-Braaten S, Narlesky M, Strayhan RC. The Use of Psilocybin in the Treatment of Psychiatric Disorders with Attention to Relative Safety Profile: A Systematic Review. J Psychoactive Drugs. 2022 Feb 28:1-11. doi: 10.1080/02791072.2022.2044096. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 35225726.

i found it! the mysterious occidental oriental norte sur in the newly organized china in canada!

lanao del norte dundas street west balete drive white plains extension? look no more! i also found alma. yes there is also fairview here in norte. im not really sure how this works i think it was cos it got bombed in the war and everyone got tortured so after the war they hid everything and everything was in secret code. CODED LANGUAGE AND LOCAL MAPS give different scales and you canplay with words too. nightmare over! all those people, most of them have already died unfortunately bringing their secrets to the grave! luckily for you dear reader i have meticulously searched all references in my mind and with its eye i have spied the thousands of years translation. the official filipino translation for canadian mind frames! so how goes the new kenora. heard about elora, ontario? what about aloran, misamis occidental? not sure how it works but did you know there are man made islands that move like boats. another thing is fact hunting is time spent on believeing you find a way to convince yourself that you are as you are and not some cloned vampire trying to be human. so here is my evidence. aloran in the philippines is right beside lanao del norte. i thought this was lanao del norte cos i saw the similarities on the map. then i see elora and actually maybe ill make a video on how i found this weird idea just laying around. on to the pics!damn i cant find the original site
................................................... aloran is also the mysterious german place (sorry i cant understand the site) from ancient times.
here is a comprehensive website detailing the various rivers and the basin of the area
here is elora ontario there is a nichols st because people want to say im a man idk
just saying lets not leave everyone in ancient colonial times waiting for the gobyernador general to get replaced due to corruption cos its so far away from the main city where the laws are delegating where gets a public school and washroom and when. some people live there for thousands of years they still dont have a public school there are provinces that were incorporated in the 1500's i mean the philippines might get reorganized into canada because i dont think canada will embrace the philippines, i think the philippines most of the islanders and coastal people get lazy because they lack nutrients and have little to stimulate their greater mental processes with. there are no books, paper, colouring materials, posters, magazines,sally ann, value village, canadian tire, real canadian superstore, bulk barn, value meats, public library, soccer feild, health programs, hospitals, washrooms, internet, computers, landline phones, not much of any of this at all. so i think its best to watch the reorganization of the un and the postal codes with hope for a more integrated integration of the poor due to lack of attention because of the lack luster offerings of the weakened people. see thats a no from me i might daytrip to elora though i love that heart shaped quarry! 
Townships of Nichol, Pilkington 
because when you look into the history of lanao del norte and lanao sur
not only does it get lost, its moved, and also there is another one. 
these things they do to maps and places are because of paranoia and to obfuscate history to reduce stigmatization of native peoples because some native peoples are not really wearing tribal nose tattoos anymore.  and the loin cloth is just a pair of underwear. 

have you read the lost villages website
its super rad

i thought misamis occidental was here and i did find it.


AND I QUOTE "8° 39' 3.31" to 8° 11' 1.14" north latitudes and 123° 19' 55.2" to 123° 51' 57.6"east longitudes
 because oroquieta vs iroquois
edit: hey Micheal allan cowie wtf is this story parallel im reading here about you telling me some girl named nicole ran you out of town (n.b.??) and here in t dot im going through some cowrie shell hell
"The rival centres of Fergus and Guelph immediately began a campaign of derision and ridicule of Elora, which Allan was promoting as “the model town in the model township.” " if this is some kind of vexatious lien against filipinos in canada along the fault line im going to steal your fake cocaine again and you wont be able to do a damn thing about it. 

buy me a coffee?

 got a new donation link up

i know none of the previous ones were ever donated to

but maybe this one will work lol

these diamonds supposed to be on a black background lol i used picsart before my iphone got hacked or needs a restore or whatever i hope the people robbing me of my props wither and i post this tacky combo of donation aqua and badly cut-out diamond pictures. i have this nightmare someones been following along and robbing my content and covering it and covering it up and hiding me by trashing me. its exhausting me not understanding why these guys keep such a close watch on me and why all these other people, women, straight hate on me and do mean stuff to me, its scary now specially cos the guys in my house are ill mannered and have no concept of respect plus the physical dominance its super disgusting. i always complain about it on twitter.

met the Lover i haven’t known yet


oh man that song almost lover is so dramatic. im editingthe playlist now 

oh fuck im having alisten and im cringing ok its gone. i took out also unearth and i forgot another song it didnt go 

Do Not Love Half Lovers – Khalil Gibran





 right when im doing the rooming house registry application over hostility cos black staff lost my initial application apparently going to west mall twice was for literally this to happen infiltration until they are living inside the same house as me, then they move into my body, then the transformation by all the the identity thieves via marijuana delivery texting verification/humiliation is complete. i become someone who vanishes and all these people take over my identity and life in horribly acted parts found on social media. my stuff gets thrown out, a few passerbys pick through it but it starts raining and no one has an umbrella. unlike me who cabbed the misdonated sally ann donations from rain only to have them all stolen and thrown out by people here who were stealing my identity in badly acted profiled parts. they have no concept of timing. they knew nothing of what happened in 2017, how time changed the lay of the land. they know status quo culture and show off nothing else. no subtlety unless the pun is i still didnt get it, cos thats whats obvious to me. theres something about my character i hard worked on that draws people fast to feeling affinity for our potential / camaraderie and displaying hostility against it, all in the same breath. Might be their breadth of scope that is telling there. Still dont get the constant display of pathos from companions.

angles anglais


hexagram 44

 UNREAL i cant even believe the iching now. i went on ewalds site to ask for coins i threw myself. well the answer was 44 unchanging. no use in marrying the strong woman etc etc etc.

the question? of course it was:

what kind of outcome can i expect from my loves because i feel excessively polyamorous.

 excessive because the extra lover is just extra and treats me horribly. then i have the chipmunks to deal with and foster. not really. more like be there for because these chipmunks are me but boy. well not exactly like me but i can identify with their 30s identity crisis as their old held beliefs on what life was supposed to be like at their age crumbling at their feet while they do gay stuff for crystal meth again and they wonder why i get so disappointed in the choices they make as they relay their adventure story in reluctant gaydom. yeah so probably should nix that one errant lover. so uh that just makes it me and patrice then and thats way too serious. so its kind of embarrassing were still hanging out with each other after 6 years its a bit long isnt it. i need another lover asap and so does he. quick!

patrice roy