the underground

it was only 80 cents

Welcome to the underground
this is the place we make the sounds that no one hears
We write those songs you think you've heard
but can't quite place
in other words...we're pioneers
Some of us thrive on rejection
we see through different ears
Some of us strive for perfection
Some of us make believe we're already there

Welcome to our lonely rooms,
this is the place we paid our dues, when they say don't
Perhaps this wasn't meant for you,
Perhaps you should go back to school... perhaps we won't
It's true we don't make much money
But still we'd like to be clear
At least we're not trying to sell you
something we ourselves would not want to hear

So, welcome to my mortal bliss
where dreams find wings in 4 track hiss then fly around.
On dusty wheels & crinkled tape
the poison songs each pollinate a face of frowns
Unless you're planning on sorrow
the future will only let you down
I'd trade all my tomorrows
for an extended stay at the here & now

Cause if I touched everyone on earth
I would have very little worth
in the underground

I am seeking a new center. Who are we?

To be honest I don't really care what people think, but there is always that nagging whisper, whispering projcted reactions and imagined scenarios regarding the event or situation at hand. The only thing that gives me pause is the fear put in me by my moral dictator. This moral dictator is growing so weak, it was never strong to begin with because I am my own person after all. This moral dictator is the only reason these nagging feelings and feelings of the need to be absolved of evil or sin exist. It must come from childhood religious brainwash and societal norms fed by the media and popular culture at large. The original concept of family is at risk in todays society. This is the main cause of my already failing moral dictators decline. Another cause is the fact that all recent relationships have been tests and gauges of the new moral dictator surfacing in myself. When this new moral dictator finalizes its form, it will absolutely supplant the previous place of the declining dictator. The care taken here before this new formation arises must be carefully studied and compared to previous powers. Weighing cons with pros and nos with yeses, this new moral dictator is seeking a new center. These centers are often found outside the body and dependant on the foundation laid by previous and current supplanters. 

ill be selling my stuff in parkdale today for a few hours. did the same yesterday, theres some kind of event in the hood. it wasnt very busy. i suppose everyone went to 420 rallies. i actually bought a ticket to go on a bus trip to ottawa and protest there but i decided it would be better to stay and try to make money, i didnt resell my ticket cos i didnt really feel anyone would buy it from me. for some reason i dont really feel like they think i am a part of their efforts. i suppose its residue from when i started, i felt like as if making any form of money during activism is taboo. i dont really know why. i dont think its normal for any activist to want to make money while supporting their cause. not really sure how that works. i changed the calendar idea to artists illustrations. these artists are biggie timee and the reach of the calendar will be much much further involving these people. not only does each artist have their huge following, they are also from all over north america. i just thought of asking my buddy in san diego so i also have west coast u.s. to distribute to. yes! meanwhile, im so tired these days and have been laying low. changing my scene and hoping for the best.
so the artists on board for the calendar are pretty excellent.

posting them on my social network pages as they come up.

of all the ridiculous things i do this is one of the so super great ones!

dad called me such a hippy making an artist calendar for the decriminalization of marijuana lol.

gotta stick to what you know and i'm branching into being responsible.

right? i gotta do right by the coolest bank guy i know, wearing that star earring being as responsible as %^&*, hes actually the best guy.

if i can find home and go back to me, than i suppose everything will be ok.

my friend lent me her the doors cd, the best of the doors, i think this was the exact same album i had, i only had "the best of". people are strange, strange days, the crystal ship..all of these songs, so deep in my memory. i always say strange days! man, life blows sometimes. like today i had a total spazz fest brought upon by visa and the bank so i just freaked out, hyperventilated, cried a lot and closed my account! i told the poor tellers, this stress makes me wanna not make any money at all, trade with everyone, join a commune somewhere!! seriously. but also, i think im gonna change my name. then i can have two. one for canada. so now i need to open another bank account which annoys the heck out of me. why cant you just have one thing, forever, and it always works? boo. oh yes yes the banks say it is completely my fault. cool! excellent. so i say yes, please blame everything on me. it is my fault after all. yup.

Humanity has finally evolved to a point where our species is moving backwards.
We are destroying more than we build.
Every year the world economy grows by about $1.5 trillion (or a thousand billion).
But, every year, we devastate the planet to the tune of $4.5 trillion.
We have officially moved into reverse, laying waste to more than we create.
- Graeme Maxton, The End of Progress
just saw someones old show poster called "paano na si darna?" =what about wonder woman (the philippines version of wonder woman is this amazing creature woman called Narda. she puts a magic pebble in her mouth and swallows, says "Darna!" and transforms into a wonder woman. the stone comes out when she wants to transform back to Narda. she flies, shes super strong, she has a wicked sexy costume and she deflects bullets with her bracelets. she probably does other stuff too.)
reminded me of an old school field trip in san fran. we were at some shoreline and there were pebbles of salt. i picked one up and licked it. it was really salty.